FRANKENBLOG

So last night I had one of the more amazing dreams of my sleeping career.

It begins:

I’m in a cliffside home, beautiful, modern. I am staying with an eccentric billionaire who looks like Trey, from Sex and the City. He isn’t much to talk to, he gestures towards the incredible bay window overlooking the beach/highway (it’s a dream, not all of it makes sense, now try and keep up) and I notice, holy shit! Dinosaurs! A T-Rex is running along the beach/highway eating people. All I can think of is “I was sure that they were extinct.” The creature is at least five hundred yards away, and is larger than…well anything. ever. This isn’t your every day dinosaur, this is a Super-saur. I also notice that trailing behind him are hundreds, maybe thousands of similarly sized dinosaurs following behind. I stand amazed for many minutes, watching their migration from afar. I suddenly realize that I am in danger, not from the dinosaurs, but from people crazed with fear, who might attack me to get my shelter. I tell the eccentric billionaire “I need a gun! Do you have one?” “Of course not!” he responds. The door is being attacked, and I an epiphany strikes me, this isn’t about dinosaurs on the highway/beach at all, this is about me, they’re after me! I snap out of my realization, only to find that a giant long haired (but bald on top), man has gained entrance to my/the eccentric billionaire’s home! He comes at me, and I grab the thick wooden dowel that was keeping the door shut. I parry his attacks, and beat him about the head with my mop handle. this pattern continues for an altogether unreasonable amount of time, parry, whap! parry, whap! Over and over. I finally understand that this ghoul won’t fall to my attacks, not ever. I say to him “Look, if I stop hitting you, will you leave?” He agrees, and when I go to shake on it, he grabs my right hand, pulls some scissors from his wool pea coat, and proceeds to cut up the skin on my forearm! I surprisingly, am more irked by this, than anything else. He then leaves. I do too, it isn’t safe here at the villa de billions anymore. I run into the streets, the streets of San Francisco at night. The sidewalks, and roads are slick with the remnants of a great storm. Everything shines, and sparkles in the darkness. I run to the nearest crackhead, and plead with him “where can I get a gun!?” “I don’t know nothin’ ’bout no guns!” No time to argue. Just then a beautiful, but very short blonde says that I must come with her. I innately knew She was some sort of prostitute, but I thought She might have some insight as to why I was being chased. I follow Her to an ATM, an ATM located in a hole that I must crawl on my hands and knees to reach. Once there She puts in her card, precipitating the sound of a buzzer, and the lighting of a tv monitor. On the monitor, a man in a red chef’s hat says “Ohh, This card has been reported stolen, I wonder who’s it is? Let’s find out shall we? Thinking, thinking, thinking…Got it! This card belongs to ________ _________ (I can’t remember the name, it wasn’t familiar).” “Shit!” She exclaims, we have to go and see _______ _________ She says. Where is Mister _______ ________ you ask? The Supper Club. (I haven’t ever been, so it was interesting to see what my mind thought of, when conjuring the club) We were immediately there, and She waltzed right past the bouncer like she owned the place, maybe She did. I meanwhile wasn’t on the list, so I couldn’t get in past the waiting room. I caught the eye, of a young waiter who seemed to be taken with me. I saw an opportunity to get in, so I started flirting with the boy. He took the bait, hook, and line. He got me in, and then I told him I was sorry, but that I already had a boyfriend (I’m not gay, promise). The “inside” was much less glamourous than I was led to believe in the waiting room. The place looked like a run down slaughter house, the walls covered in a chipped red paint, cement floors, stained a rusty red-brown in many places. There were only a few people, but they seemed to be working. Bare light-bulbs cast long shadows, and provided only a small radius of light, outside of which the darkness fought for supremacy. I found a hallway, lined with broken, and twisted doors, leading to places I knew I didn’t want to go without the gun I was so desperately searching for. At the end of this hallway is a old dull red door, with a few contorted steps leading up to it. Behind the door, I hear Her talking to Him. I know then that I don’t want to be here. I go to explore, and find myself at an open stairwell, but as I travel down, the lighbulbs either stop working, or are unable to repulse the strengthening darkness. I cannot go here. Not without my gun. As I am running back to the front, running to escape I see a man, coiling rope, it looks like BZZZZZZ!!!! my brother Sam, I go to talk to BZZZZZZ!!!!! him, but I know now that this isn’t real and that BZZZZZZ!!!! sound is my friend Lex ringing my doorbell, but it isn’t enough to wake me, only enough for me to realize what this is, this is a dream!

Then I woke up, and got the door. Sure enough, it was Lex. No dinosaurs. No billionaires. No Her. No Him. No gun. Just Lex.

This entry was posted on Friday, March 10th, 2006 at 2:25 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.