This is totally going to throw off my average!
I had a great time coming home for the holidays. This is mostly due to my friend Chuck, and his fairer half. The night before I left they took me out for a night of “All American” fun. We started the night off with a game of bowling. I haven’t bowled since I was in second grade, and I guess I haven’t gotten any better in my old age. I was startlingly bad. It was gutter ball after gutter ball as I assaulted the lanes. I got a bit better by the end, but only a bit. We had a fun time during though, Georgia, Chuck’s girly, is very funny, although she has got to stop judging me. Go ahead, judge other people, I’ll laugh, but when it comes to Danny, cut that shit out.
As Chuck and I are sitting, Georgia gets up for her turn, and he remarks to me “She looks hot on approach, and she has a cute butt” I responded “Yeah, she does, you think she’s single?” gesturing towards the nine year old bowling next to us. Sure it was gross, but it made Chuck laugh. I guess that he liked my joke so much that he wanted to share it with Georgia, because he then yells to her “So I guess Dan is some kind of PEDOPHILE!”. Obviously the family with the young girls bowling next to us were non-plussed.
After bowling, and merriment was had, we went to Casey’s for some all American cheeseburgers. They were delicious. Although Chuck liked his burger, he seems to have some sort of I.B.S. We had to make a stop at Georgia’s work so that Chuck could…use the facilities. During dinner Chuck, Georgia, and I talked about zombies, and what we would do if there were an outbreak. Funny enough, those two have a fully formulated plan for survival, it’s a really well constructed plan too. At Georgia’s work there’s a hatch to the roof of a strip mall. It’d a be a good place to ride out the outbreak.
So as we are heading back to my place I lament out loud that I would like to have been here on a Wednesday, because it’s amateur night at the strip club, and all of the EMU girls go there for some extra cash. I’ve heard that it’s a pretty funny time to go, as none of the girls are trained dancers. Georgia picks up on my thinking-out-loud statement, and says “We should go to the strip club!”. An “O.K.” arose simultaneously from both Chuck and I. She didn’t need to ask twice.
We arrive at Deja Vu, and go in. Georgia and I have to wait awkwardly in the entrance hallway as Chuck assaults the strip club bathroom.
Once in the club though, we all settle in, and start having a fun time pointing, commenting, judging, and laughing. Deja Vu’s slogan is “thousands of beautiful girls, and seven ugly ones”, I guess the thousands were busy. There was one girl who was really cute though, and Chuck, and Georgia urge me to get a dance, so with my arm twisted, I agree to have a young, beautiful, blonde girl dance naked for me. What was weird though, is that she’s a U of M student majoring in Chemistry, minoring in German. She was dancing to afford tuition. I guess that’s a common scenario, but it’s different when you see it for yourself.
She mentioned that she noticed our group pointing and laughing while she was on stage, and she thought we were making fun of her (we weren’t (with her)). When I told my group about this we all became paranoid, because it seemed as though suddenly all the strippers knew we were making fun of them. Then to exacerbate the problem I was trying to point out a particularly homely girl to Chuck, and right as I was yelling (over the music) “the girl with the PIG FACE” the music stopped, and Georgia shhhhed me and gestured behind me, there was a blue stripper SPYING on us! I was caught!
Overall, it was a great time, I really had fun with Chuck, and Georgia was much funnier, smarter, and prettier than Chuck’s blog let’s on.
Unfortunately, no pictures, because I kept forgetting my camera. Oh well, I’ll get some when they come to S.F.
December 31st, 2005 at 8:33 am
IBS, eh? Hey, thanks buddy. No - really. You’re awesome.
Eat me.